There have been a number of posts on this blog that mention shocking behaviour in public by Dominicans, particularly the complete obliviousness in public arenas to those around them. Before coming here I would have never imagined that cinema going involved audience participation (why would you want to give advice to an on-screen character?), and my staid Britishness is struggling with the queuing system. Coming from a country where people would rather kill their own mother than suffer the tutting and disapproving glances that result from skipping their place in a queue, it takes some adapting to a place where ones location in the queue is reflective not of the order in which one arrived, but the sharpness of ones elbows and determination to hit people with a handbag in order to save a few seconds getting on a bus. I still struggle to go up to the counter in my local village shop and just shout my order oblivious to the person being served. As I wait patiently for my turn, it is taken by the newly arrived. To my shame, I can’t bring myself to act as the locals do and elbow my way to be served, but as I live behind the corner shop and have a key, I just let myself in the back door, take what I want, and leave the money without having to shout and assert oneself.
This demonstrates two seemingly contradictory aspects of Dominican society. Whilst people are amazingly inconsiderate in their public behaviour, they are at the same time extraordinarily generous in many other ways. Whilst the behaviour of those in queues, cinemas, lectures, roads shows absolutely no regard for those around them, my landlady and village shop owner doesn’t bat an eyelid when I enter and take what I need. Likewise I can’t pass my neighbours house without them coming out into the street to invite me in for coffee and biscuits, if not lunch. I feel very guilty in these situations, knowing what percentage of their daily income this expenditure represents. If it is a family that I have been visiting a lot, I often feign stomach ache because of this guilt. Everyone has been incredibly welcoming, open to telling me all sorts of aspects of their lives, making my work a lot easier and infinitely more enjoyable.
I recently posted a thread on a Dominican affairs forum, in which I asked for help in understanding this inconsiderate-incredibly generous contradiction. In many ways it is the opposite of British behaviour of politeness, giving up ones seat on the bus, yet utter refusal to help strangers, which I suppose could also be seen as a contradiction. It soon became the hottest topic on the board, but none of the 200 plus replies that arrived in the first week helped me understand this contradiction. Most of them denounced all Dominicans as being childlike, and therefore deserving of being either ignored or patronised (patting them on the head and giving them a sweet), or criticising me for being an ex-pat who refused to give up my foreign ways and understand Dominicans – the complete opposite of what I am trying to do. Chiri and some others pointed out that the inconsideration/generosity divide could be likened to a class divide or an urban/rural divide, which have made it more comprehensible, but unfortunately not more tolerable.
Answers from anthropologists on a postcard please.